are you so shy because you have an std?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
