He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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