he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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