Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
