If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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