new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
