I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
