where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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