i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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