btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize