And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
