Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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