I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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