I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
