i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
