This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She said her name was "party"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
false alarm. still invincible.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
