Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Pooping to opera.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
