New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
