I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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