The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I lost the right to judge tonight
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
