at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
