I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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