Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize