Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
