From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
