Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
