wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
