omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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