Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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