I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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