Barsexuality is the new black.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
