no, he came in my armpit
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
