Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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