my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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