..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
