The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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