you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
