i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
