I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Couch. On fire.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
