i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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