so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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