She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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