I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
