Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
