No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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