I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
