Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry annysaur hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(540): View more from Virginia

She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her

Fav 3 2157 1114
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.

Fav 3 1233 750
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.

Fav 2 1022 759
share tweet
(727): View more from Florida

You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car

Fav 1 866 470
share tweet
(813): View more from Florida

So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?

Fav 3 877 626
share tweet
(504): View more from Louisiana

Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.

(985): View more from Louisiana

Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.

Fav 3 1506 614
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement

Fav 1 503 561
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(808): View more from Hawaii

You can be responsible and still be on that ho life

Fav 1 92 30
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(218): View more from Minnesota

Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.

Fav 0 89 45
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT