so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
