i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i already hear my dad disowning me
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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