i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
