the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I AM VODKA MAN
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
