If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Randomize
