I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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