one two three fourrrrnication!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
