All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
