If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
