He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
