why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
