forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
