my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
