Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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