I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
