i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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