Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
