We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
