I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize