ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
