these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
