Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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