..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
